Cartoon, Life, Funny Jojo Oldham Cartoon, Life, Funny Jojo Oldham

A realistic will

Not sure how much of actual worth I'll have to leave behind when I depart this life, but there are some things I just know I'll be passing on.

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Dear Buddies, Babies, Life, Funny Jojo Oldham Dear Buddies, Babies, Life, Funny Jojo Oldham

Dear Buddy

Rather than doing practical things like reading baby books and getting the nursery ready, I've been writing notes to my bump since I found out I was pregnant. Way more fun.

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Funny, Life, Cartoon, Chart Jojo Oldham Funny, Life, Cartoon, Chart Jojo Oldham

The cycle of faffing

Woke up with the best intentions this morning, as I always do. I was gonna do some exercise, clean the whole house, make a million pounds, and stumble upon a cure for cancer, all before 8am. But then before I knew it it was 11am and I was boiling the kettle for the umpteenth time and I'd achieved nothing.

It's fine though, because once I've made one more cup of tea I'll be totally ready to crack on and conquer the world. After one final scroll through Instagram.

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Life, Funny, Chart, Cartoon Jojo Oldham Life, Funny, Chart, Cartoon Jojo Oldham

How many more times?

The other day, as I was eating a not-so-great pizza, I got to thinking about how many more pizzas I would get to eat in my lifetime, assuming I continue to eat them at the current rate and that I live to a ripe old age. I eat about one a month, so if I live another 50 years, that's 600 pizzas. Quite a lot really.

But then I started thinking about how many times I might do other things, like go to the seaside with my mam and dad. And that number was considerably smaller.

It all sounds pretty morbid, and I guess it kind of is, but I find reminders like this incredibly useful for making sure I make the most of my time on Earth with the people I love.

 

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Funny, Life Jojo Oldham Funny, Life Jojo Oldham

Bedtime: the fantasy vs the reality

Nope. Not that kind of fantasy. There's definitely no time for that when you've got dishwashers to empty, bins to take out, and other people's photos of novelty cocktails and pool inflatables to stare at absently on Instagram. And then since I'm on my phone already, I might as well just check my bank account in case someone has mysteriously deposited a six-figure sum in there. And my emails, just in case I've finally been invited to dance on Strictly. And Rightmove, to look at some houses I can't afford. Then I might as well have a quick look on Facebook and Twitter too, since I don't quite hate myself enough yet...

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